A. Living within the realm of America,
B. My politics happen to mainly be considered 'leftist' though i personally would have to disagree with that assumption...well...nevermind, just know I'm not a liberal and in-fact i dare say nObama.
And again I say, alas, to the blogg'o'sphere of the new "radical" interweb, because "the Man" took back the streets...the jerk, so now we resort to computers to share, debate, protest, inspire, help, love, redeem, and degenerate those we don't like or do like; depending on their certain stance on politics (maybe this is a reason why America has yet to change??...and im talking about REAL change, not Obama 'change').
At the moment, I've lost my notebook i write on, and this is all i have...sad isn't it? So dear friends, you now have the ability to read whatever i post, isn't that exciting?
-
Currently, I'm in a room, bored...out of my mind, and not tired, and my throat is hurting..probably because i should stop smoking before i get really addicted..
certain things keep coming into my mind...G-d, friends, a certain fellow who i miss that wishes bad things of me, politics, Alive With the Glory of Love - Say Anything, the RNC protest and that Amy Goodman was arrested, and Sojourners magazine.
And for an odd reason, I'm very depressed, unless i think about G-d. I'm beginning to think that YHWH is the only thing that's keeping me alive. To certain people, this love I'm...pretty much obsessing over is ticking them off i think, which...is sort of sad, yet understandable. But, I honestly feel a reason to live now. Before, i hated myself, my being, my every breath i take...I mean i still do, yet I'm sort of forcing myself to live, because I've actually found a purpose, though i still don't exactly know what road I'm supposed to take towards this purpose.
Though, this doesn't mean I'm all happy and go-lucky on the inside at the moment. Honestly I still hate myself, I'm easily angered at everything I do because I think its worthless, I hate my damn pride, my damn crown needs to get off. And I always find myself asking, "why the fuck was i born?", I begin to take sides with Job,
B. My politics happen to mainly be considered 'leftist' though i personally would have to disagree with that assumption...well...nevermind, just know I'm not a liberal and in-fact i dare say nObama.
And again I say, alas, to the blogg'o'sphere of the new "radical" interweb, because "the Man" took back the streets...the jerk, so now we resort to computers to share, debate, protest, inspire, help, love, redeem, and degenerate those we don't like or do like; depending on their certain stance on politics (maybe this is a reason why America has yet to change??...and im talking about REAL change, not Obama 'change').
At the moment, I've lost my notebook i write on, and this is all i have...sad isn't it? So dear friends, you now have the ability to read whatever i post, isn't that exciting?
-
Currently, I'm in a room, bored...out of my mind, and not tired, and my throat is hurting..probably because i should stop smoking before i get really addicted..
certain things keep coming into my mind...G-d, friends, a certain fellow who i miss that wishes bad things of me, politics, Alive With the Glory of Love - Say Anything, the RNC protest and that Amy Goodman was arrested, and Sojourners magazine.
And for an odd reason, I'm very depressed, unless i think about G-d. I'm beginning to think that YHWH is the only thing that's keeping me alive. To certain people, this love I'm...pretty much obsessing over is ticking them off i think, which...is sort of sad, yet understandable. But, I honestly feel a reason to live now. Before, i hated myself, my being, my every breath i take...I mean i still do, yet I'm sort of forcing myself to live, because I've actually found a purpose, though i still don't exactly know what road I'm supposed to take towards this purpose.
Though, this doesn't mean I'm all happy and go-lucky on the inside at the moment. Honestly I still hate myself, I'm easily angered at everything I do because I think its worthless, I hate my damn pride, my damn crown needs to get off. And I always find myself asking, "why the fuck was i born?", I begin to take sides with Job,
"why did i not perish at birth,
and die as i came from the womb?" (Job 2:11)
and die as i came from the womb?" (Job 2:11)
Yet, whenever i think of Him, or whenever I see a tree, or even a pebble...i get really happy, giddy, and i feel comfort.
" If there was no way into God, I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long."
-
Without G-d, i can't really even say where i'd be...probably debating suicide. And with this day-in-age seems like a sane
solution to insanity.
Why wouldn't it be? Humans still have yet to learn anything from the past, governments, rape, genocide, imperialism, slavery, when will it end? Honestly? Isn't the sole purpose of learning History in classes is so we won't be condemned to repeat the past? Or is to re-live the 'glory days' of WW2 when America so 'valiantly' rescued the world from Nazism (which history shows, Mr. Wilson was sort-of the reason why Hitler rose to power). Squirrels are more intelligent than humans that's for sure. Just because we're the highest in the food chain, doesn't necessarily mean we're the most logical. Fake elections, presidents in replace of kings, Oval Office instead of the Royal Court, flag-pin instead of a crown, we still live in serfdom in many parts of the world, Attila the Hun is still in power, but this time he's a corporation.
I mean, what the hell guys?
If i didn't find G-d again, I'd be long-gone.
-
Without G-d, i can't really even say where i'd be...probably debating suicide. And with this day-in-age seems like a sane
solution to insanity.Why wouldn't it be? Humans still have yet to learn anything from the past, governments, rape, genocide, imperialism, slavery, when will it end? Honestly? Isn't the sole purpose of learning History in classes is so we won't be condemned to repeat the past? Or is to re-live the 'glory days' of WW2 when America so 'valiantly' rescued the world from Nazism (which history shows, Mr. Wilson was sort-of the reason why Hitler rose to power). Squirrels are more intelligent than humans that's for sure. Just because we're the highest in the food chain, doesn't necessarily mean we're the most logical. Fake elections, presidents in replace of kings, Oval Office instead of the Royal Court, flag-pin instead of a crown, we still live in serfdom in many parts of the world, Attila the Hun is still in power, but this time he's a corporation.
I mean, what the hell guys?
If i didn't find G-d again, I'd be long-gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment