is it time?

it happens once a month usually. but lately it's getting more and more. my eye still occasionally twitches. my mental breakdowns seem to be getting different. i don't wanna talk with anyone while it happens. not person-to-person at least. i had someone, but that didn't work out well. i feel selfish. i have G-d, but i long for someone to speak to, in person, without limit. i always try to help people with whatever problems they have, i try at least, engage in discussion, i feel i'm missing out on just talking to someone heart to heart. i haven't had that in a long time, and it always really helped. i heard someone talk about how just talking to someone when you see that they are down is the first step to helping someone, and that something Divine occurs...which i always try to do. but i haven't had it happen to me in a long time, maybe i'm good at faking because i just don't want to bother anyone. and i guess it works.

i feel like a deep well.

sorry for complaining...