I was just lectured on about how America was founded as a Christian Nation, with Christian Principles, for the People, by the People. How America was founded on Free Speech and Freedom of Religion.
I've honestly never had so many thoughts through my head about politics and history in random ten-minute hoot of words.
I stood, more-so leaning on a counter, sipping my coffee while this man talked. I could tell he was a good man, with a good heart. He was from Africa. He had quite a lot to say about America, good things, and a lot to say about other countries of the world, bad things. He also talked about 'racist' against Caucasians America is. He talked about certain horrible leaders of certain horrible nations. He talked of how wonderful the American economy is and that the reason why so many nations hate America is because of Jealousy.
They kept trying to drag me in, saying things that they know arouses my thought, makes my blood-boil, and if i think about it long enough it has potential to bring tears to my eyes. My mother obviously knows my political stand-point on subjects, and that if i even mention at all about what i believe in I'd be laughed and ridiculed in a second, so she is silent as well.
The man continued to talk.
Telling me, it's good i have a point of view, but i need to think outside the box and realize that America is the best and the most generously giving country out of the whole world, and all other countries hate us because of that, including the place he was born in.
I stood there, quiet.
I can hear them now...laughing in the back.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
-With a confused look at the moth-
hello there Cedar-Ant blog-thingy, i haven't posted on here in awhile.
I'm honestly curious if anyone reads this or not?
But then at the same time, I sort of don't care, because this sort of place has become a nice little 'rant' section in my life where no one can demand of me to shut-up. its sad, isn't it? how the public of the world has reduced to such fear of each other's neighbor, the fear of having true honesty of how one feels towards politics, the world, love, society, religion, so on and so forth to where we go on blogging about. sort of hoping people will read, and understand, and at the same time for certain posts, hoping they don't understand. in the end we just want to be heard, we just want to be loved. it seems like that is the only purpose to being here: to be loved.
i've been having quite a whirlwind of emotions lately, oh lust and the desire of love is such a curse isn't it? i've ended up a Joseph with the intention of succeeding as he did, but i failed, unlike he who just got his tunic torn, i received that tear and worse, when i knew beforehand that would happen as well! hope can be a beautiful angel at times, when the hope is for love and life, yet it can also be a ferocious demon promising love with you getting fooled and falling into a hole. The hope this time, was one of lust, i admit, and like most adventures with lust you end up bruised with the feeling of being taken advantage of. confused with the intense feeling of loneliness i slowly stopped the infatuation of her, though it rises from time to time, i can ease it off allow myself to know "this is only an emotion, it will pass".
which helps, though now, again, im stuck in such a silly debate with myself continually, and for how young and immature i am, all about the pros and cons of celibacy and relationship. And this happens all the while i am having infatuation with certain womyn, womyn which i know would never be interested in me. I'm not artsy, i'm not intelligent, i like walking everywhere, i'm not really crazy about getting my license(19yrs old, sad huh?), i'm usually confused, i stare at the ground a lot, i have a beard, talking about politics infuriates me, and talking about G-d makes me happy and i feel movement, and i like to write stuff in my notebook a lot which i don't want anyone looking at. <- who wants that? and at the same time, feeling extreme wanderlust. i really REALLY want to be back on a Greyhound bus going somewhere I've never been before, meeting folks i've never met before, and seeing and trusting G-d in ways that i never thought possible. i really miss being overjoyed at the sight of a quarter. nowadays i spend my time reading, drinking coffee, being on the damn internet, and jobhunting. i feel horrid. i miss the Mystery of whether or not you'll eat. i feel as if i've become such a different person than how i was when i stepped off that bus back into a place where i grew up, though i received it as a new and unknown territory. i was truly happy with that Mystery combined with a carefree attitude and with ultimate trust in the Provider. i haven't written a poem in awhile...which worries me. steal me.
"Come quick, you Light that knows no evening"
I'm honestly curious if anyone reads this or not?
But then at the same time, I sort of don't care, because this sort of place has become a nice little 'rant' section in my life where no one can demand of me to shut-up. its sad, isn't it? how the public of the world has reduced to such fear of each other's neighbor, the fear of having true honesty of how one feels towards politics, the world, love, society, religion, so on and so forth to where we go on blogging about. sort of hoping people will read, and understand, and at the same time for certain posts, hoping they don't understand. in the end we just want to be heard, we just want to be loved. it seems like that is the only purpose to being here: to be loved.
i've been having quite a whirlwind of emotions lately, oh lust and the desire of love is such a curse isn't it? i've ended up a Joseph with the intention of succeeding as he did, but i failed, unlike he who just got his tunic torn, i received that tear and worse, when i knew beforehand that would happen as well! hope can be a beautiful angel at times, when the hope is for love and life, yet it can also be a ferocious demon promising love with you getting fooled and falling into a hole. The hope this time, was one of lust, i admit, and like most adventures with lust you end up bruised with the feeling of being taken advantage of. confused with the intense feeling of loneliness i slowly stopped the infatuation of her, though it rises from time to time, i can ease it off allow myself to know "this is only an emotion, it will pass".
which helps, though now, again, im stuck in such a silly debate with myself continually, and for how young and immature i am, all about the pros and cons of celibacy and relationship. And this happens all the while i am having infatuation with certain womyn, womyn which i know would never be interested in me. I'm not artsy, i'm not intelligent, i like walking everywhere, i'm not really crazy about getting my license(19yrs old, sad huh?), i'm usually confused, i stare at the ground a lot, i have a beard, talking about politics infuriates me, and talking about G-d makes me happy and i feel movement, and i like to write stuff in my notebook a lot which i don't want anyone looking at. <- who wants that? and at the same time, feeling extreme wanderlust. i really REALLY want to be back on a Greyhound bus going somewhere I've never been before, meeting folks i've never met before, and seeing and trusting G-d in ways that i never thought possible. i really miss being overjoyed at the sight of a quarter. nowadays i spend my time reading, drinking coffee, being on the damn internet, and jobhunting. i feel horrid. i miss the Mystery of whether or not you'll eat. i feel as if i've become such a different person than how i was when i stepped off that bus back into a place where i grew up, though i received it as a new and unknown territory. i was truly happy with that Mystery combined with a carefree attitude and with ultimate trust in the Provider. i haven't written a poem in awhile...which worries me. steal me.
"Come quick, you Light that knows no evening"
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